Tools For Self-Help

By developing a general level of self-confidence in yourself, you will not only believe you can succeed, but you'll also recognize and enjoy the successes you've already had. That, in turn, will inspire you to build on those successes. The momentum created by self-confidence is hard to beat.

Take these steps:

  • Think about the achievements in your life.
  • Examine your strengths  to understand what you can build on.
  • Determine what other people see as your strengths and key capabilities.
  • Set achievable goals for yourself, work to achieve them, and enjoy that achievement.
  • Seek out mentors and other people who model the competencies, skills, and attributes you desire.

As you begin to recognize how much you've already achieved – and understand how much potential you have – you will have the confidence to set goals and achieve the things you desire. The more you look for reasons to believe in yourself, the easier it will be to find ways to motivate yourself

You can use self-awareness worksheet to raise your awareness about your own successfull, happy and confident parts.

A key part of building self-motivation is to start setting strong goals. These give you focus, a clear sense of direction, and the self-confidence that comes from recognizing your own achievement.

First, determine your direction through effective goal setting. But don't set just any goal. According to Locke's goal-setting theory , your goal should have the following characteristics:

  • Clarity - Effective goals are clear, measurable, specific, and based on behavior, not outcomes.
  • Challenge - Goals should be difficult enough to be interesting, but not so difficult that you can't reach them.
  • Commitment - Goals should be attainable, and should be relevant - that is, they should contribute in a significant way to the major objectives you're trying to achieve.
  • Regularity of Feedback - Monitor your progress towards your goals regularly to maintain your sense of momentum and enthusiasm, and enjoy your progress towards those goals.
  • Sufficient Respect For Complexity - If the goal involves complex work, make sure that you don't over-commit yourself. Complex work can take an unpredictably long time to complete (particularly if you have to learn how to do the task "on the job").

Using tools like Eisenhower's Urgent/Important Principle and the Covey’s Time Matrix, you can quickly and easily see how each goal activity fits into the bigger picture of your overall objectives. If you fully understand your priorities, you probably won't feel as pressured to do everything at once. This can reduce stress and help you to concentrate on the most important strategies.

You will face challenges when you’re attempting to delay gratification.

A proper “if-then” plan gives you a framework for alternative responses when impulses present themselves.

Fill in the blanks and keep the sheet handy when new opportunities erupt that challenge the change you want to make.

Example: If I want another snack, then I will first do 10 push-ups and drink a glass of water.

References:

Job, V., Dweck, C. S., & Walton, G. M. (2010). Ego depletion—Is it all in your head? Implicit theories about willpower affect self-regulation. Psychological science21(11), 1686-1693.

Job, V., Walton, G. M., Bernecker, K., & Dweck, C. S. (2015). Implicit theories about willpower predict self-regulation and grades in everyday life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 108(4), 637–647. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspp0000014

Metcalfe, J., & Mischel, W. (1999). A hot/cool-system analysis of delay of gratification: dynamics of willpower. Psychological review106(1), 3.

Oaten, M., & Cheng, K. (2006). Longitudinal gains in selfregulation from regular physical exercise. British journal of health psychology11(4), 717-733.

Vohs, K. D., Baumeister, R. F., & Schmeichel, B. J. (2012). Motivation, personal beliefs, and limited resources all contribute to self-control. Journal of experimental social psychology48(4), 943-947.