- Remind them to get familiar with Sabancı University webpages, read academic regulations, and more importantly to get in touch with their advisors. We, at the Center for Individual and Academic Development, are here to guide them.
- All of our students attend our university after taking several and very difficult exams; and they have been very successful. Yet, success at the high school does not necessarily lead to success at the university level.
- If your child associates self-respect and your undevoted love and support to his/her “academic success”, even a slight possibility of failure may make them devastated.
- Give them space and opportunity to make their own decisions and to solve their problems by their own. Let them decide which courses to take and which program to choose.
- Especially, while making the decision in which program they will be studying, support them to choose fields in which they have intellectual curiosity, joy and become successful, rather than choosing a field that looks easy or pragmatic.
- Stress the importance of “learning to learn.” When you find a chance always show a genuine interest about new materials they have learned and academic discussions they had in classes. Learn with them (by the way, you may find it very exhilarating and fun.)
- Make sure “failure” and “disappointment” are two different things. At times, getting an unexpected bad grade does not necessarily mean failure. Remind this to yourselves and to your child.
- While they were at high school, you had the chance to follow his/her success closely through their teachers and school officials. This is not possible anymore!
- Your child is now an adult (hard to believe!) By law, only they can see their grades. University officials cannot share their personal information with others (even with you.)
- As mentioned above, be realistic about their academic success. There is nothing wrong to have bad grades or difficulties in some classes. Encourage them to share their concerns with you. Remind them of all resources that they have at Sabancı University (for example, Academic Support Program.) and remind them to get in touch with their faculty members, advisors, and CIAD.
- Develop a new perspective: you will be interested in their grades and success not to control them, but rather to support them. Let them know about your new perspective.
- Despite that your kid is now “independent”, he/she still needs to know that you are there to help and support them. Therefore, it is very crucial that you have a supporting relationship.
- While communicating with them, do not forget that they are trying to be independent and show respect to their individual self-respect.
- Either at home or long distance, determine well-defined time slots for communication. Think twice when and how you will have communication with your child before contacting them.
- The frequency of communication is important. It should neither to be too often nor to rare. Try to find a balance.
- Especially in the first year of university life, but also at other times, some students call their parents too often. They may tell you that “university life is not for them,” “they are going to fail” and “they are longing for home.” You will be the first people they are going to call when they face challenges (more often in the first year). They will be looking for the securityhave provided when they were young, and they may avoid new responsibilities. Listen to them, be supportive, but never make decisions in their name and take responsibility from them.
- Remind them that there is a team at the Center for Individual and Academic Development, and they can always reach out to their advisors.
- Your child may experience academic and social difficulties. This is very natural. Remind them you are there to support them and encourage them to solve their problems by themselves.
- When your child becomes an adult and adapts to this new stage, his/her relationship with you may change. This is natural and very healthy development.
- From the time they learn how to make their own decisions, they will emphasize their independence from you. Tell them clearly what you expect from them and, more importantly, respect their expectations.
- You nurtured them until now. You did very weel to get them to this stage. Now, it’s their turn!
- Be proud of what you accomplished, congratulate yourselves. Have belief that your kid will be successful.
